Dating rules going dutch
When I started dating my very first boyfriend as a sophomore in high school, I was adamant that I pay for my own meals. This became such a point of contention that we eventually broke up over an otherwise enjoyable night of thai (that he insisted on paying for).
Once I started dating online after college, I found myself in many similar situations.
She had a first date with a man and it had all gone really well.
He had taken her to a decent restaurant and they'd had a three-course meal and a bottle of champagne too.
My family’s “don’t ask for money” rule stayed with me, unconsciously, into adulthood. I expected the man to read my mind, because I was ashamed to let him know I wanted him to treat. When I did offer to split the check on a dinner date, if the man accepted, I felt unfeminine, which meant no second date. But now I think many men were as confused as I’d been.
So it was difficult for me to talk about money on dates. The guy could have thought I really wanted to pay my way.
But if I allow these men to persistently contribute more, am I allowing my time to be “bought”?
Does my taste in salt-and-pepper-haired, Ph D-wielding generous old farts make every interaction an act of prostitution? Both men and women should bear in mind the other's ability to contribute.
But nearly two thirds of men believed that women should contribute compared with the 44 per cent of women who felt put out at the suggestion.
Should I always insist on principle that I contribute fairly?
That's not because he's a man but because it's polite.
Are you being objectified in terms of your success? I tend to date men more cultured and interesting than me.
They tend to be older, more successful and higher earners as well.