White guy dating asian woman
After spending half of my twenties living and working in Hong Kong and South Korea, I returned to North America last summer, at 30, with a reputation as a White Guy Who Dates Asian Girls.Friends are once again teasing me for having “yellow fever,” and as far as facts are concerned, I can’t argue with the designation: My current partner is Chinese-American, while my most recent ex-girlfriend is Vietnamese-Canadian. I can dismiss their playful ribbing the same way I dismissed most name-calling during elementary school—after all, there’s nothing wrong with dating women of Asian descent—but “yellow fever” isn’t an innocuous, empty label. Friends may just be having fun, but to my ears, I’m being called a deviant. Google “yellow fever,” and you’ll see that many Asian women have taken back the term to shame white men who fetishize them based on racial stereotypes.Others claim that it’s a harmless preference on the basis of physical appearance, no different than a preference for blondes or girls with tattoos.Unfortunately, neither of these answers is correct.One acquaintance told me in wonderment that Chinese women are great in the bedroom – as if I wasn't one – to being casually asked if I’d be interested in a guy “who has been with Chinese girls and likes it”.I’ve been left puzzled by the insensitivity, and the lack of awareness that such comments may cause offence.Compared with black, white and Latino men, Asian men receive fewer matches and messages from women on the dating site.
Having said that, I'm surprised at what British men, both young and old, generally get away with when talking about East Asian women (Chinese, Japanese, Korean etc.) as well as South East Asian women (Vietnam, Thailand etc.) I've heard my Caucasian friends recommend to their male, single mates that they should date “nice Chinese girls”, with the added bonus that Chinese women are far more sexually open-minded than Caucasian girls.
But this essay isn’t about that type of yellow fever. While I’m sympathetic to the plight of Asian women who are exotified by awful white men, this new, zeitgeisty application of the term “yellow fever” hasn’t replaced the way it was used in my schoolyard all those years ago: as a catchall term for Asian person.
This is the same way my friends use it while teasing me now—they’re not accusing me of fetishizing my current or past girlfriends.
I first heard about “yellow fever” during elementary school after a few guys mentioned it.
Back then, the term was shorthand for someone white who had a crush on someone Asian, and at our school, it applied to the girls as much as it did the boys.